im drinking this country out of the recession.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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