Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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