My room smells like vodka and shame
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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