mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
