If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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