so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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