Im at strip club and am horny
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
