He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
