i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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