When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
