FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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