Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
