happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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