Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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