Screwed.edu
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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