We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
You are a booty call, not a friend.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
