I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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