Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
grandma shit on top of the toilet
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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