Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
