You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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