I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Randomize
