break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
