dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
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