Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
