had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
