Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
