Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
