I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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