Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
