will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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