the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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