Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
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