$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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