when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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