just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
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