Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
