I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
