Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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