The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
