Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Randomize
