There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
