i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
