is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
