I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
