I puked a lego.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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