it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Randomize
