Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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