So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
