booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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