Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
