the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
