I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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